Garwood Presbyterian Church

Self-Rejection and the Importance of Forgiving and Loving Yourself

God's Way to Health, Healing, and Wholeness

1. Many People Secretly Do Not Like Themselves
   1. They feel like a failure and can't forgive themselves.
      1. They accuse themselves, attack themselves, and reject themselves.
2. Some People Do Not Like Themselves Because They Were Never Loved Enough Growing Up
   1. And they believed it was deserved.
      1. They thought that something was wrong with them, that it was their fault, and that they were unlovable.
   2. If the person loses hope, they may choose to remain a victim.
      1. And focus on the love that was not given, the abuse that happened, and the damage done.
         1. This is so that they will be pitied.
         2. So that they will get some love.
         3. Because they don't believe they can be loved as they are, for who they are.
      2. But self-pity is the superglue of hell.
         1. It binds us to our past, so that we have a miserable present, while robbing us of the future God wants us to have.
         2. It causes us to carry the sins committed against us in our heart and in our body.
         3. It causes us to continue to be a victim, instead of having God's victory in our life.
      3. This can lead us into a depression.
      4. It can cause us to become a perfectionist.
         1. As we try to earn the love we need.
   3. Children of divorce are especially vulnerable to this.
      1. Anyone who has experienced any kind of abuse is also especially vulnerable to this.
   4. The Godly solution to this is found in Isaiah 61:1-3.
      1. "The Lord has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release for the prisoners, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor."
      2. The pain of not being loved needs to be released.
         1. The secret needs to be exposed to the light in the presence of the love of someone that can be trusted, like a good Christian friend or the Lord Himself.
         2. Let go of the pain to God.
         3. Let God heal our broken heart.
      3. Forgive those who did not love us.
         1. Col. 3:13 says, "forgive whatever grievances you may have" and "Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
         2. We must forgive to be free.
      4. Then receive and soak in God's love for us.
         1. Fill in the places where there is no love with God's love.
         2. "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.", Psalm 27:10.
         3. He says, " I have loved you with an everlasting love.", Jer. 31:3.
         4. John 3:16 says that God so loved you that He gave His only begotten Son for you.
         5. Romans 5:8 - tells us that we do not have to earn God's love.
         6. I John 3:1 tells us that God has lavished His great love on us by making us His children.
         7. I John 4:16 admonishes us to "rely on the love God has for us."
3. Some People Do Not Like Themselves Because of Their Sins and Failures
   1. Everyone sins and fails, but these people can't forgive themselves.
      1. So they live in failure, guilt, and shame.
      2. They are angry at themselves, but take it out on other people.
   2. Peter & Paul failed miserably, but they accepted God's forgiveness and went on to greatness.
   3. We need to forgive ourself, because God has forgiven us.
      1. "Forgive whatever grievances you may have," Col. 3:13, even includes against ourself!
      2. Therefore, we should accept God's marvelous, life-giving forgiveness of us.
4. We Need to Do This Because of the Harm Not Liking Ourself Can Do
   1. It can give or encourage us to have coronary artery disease, high cholesterol, osteoarthritis, or strokes.
   2. Or it can cause an autoimmune disease like Alzheimer's Disease, Crohn's Disease, Diabetes, Hashimoto's Disease, Interstitial Cystitis, Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, Prostatitus, Psoriasis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Rosacea, Scleroderma, or Sjogren's Syndrome.
      1. This is because if we insist on accusing, rejecting and attacking ourself, eventually our body will agree with this and attack us through our immune system turning against us.
   3. Not liking ourself can also encourage us into an addiction.
      1. This is because all addictions come from not receiving enough love.
      2. The addiction is used to try and receive some love.
5. Therefore, We Need to:
   1. Love ourself like God does.
      1. Since a perfect, holy God found a way to love me, I need to love myself.
      2. God does this through forgiving me. So I need to forgive myself.
      3. I need to take the peace that God gives me, including about myself.
   2. Forgive everyone who has not loved us.
      1. When we do, they stop having power over us.
      2. Then we can become the new creation God wants us to be and live victoriously for Him.
   3. Practice the 9 R's to health, healing, and wholeness.
      1. Recognize - that not accepting and loving ourself is sinful and harmful.
      2. Responsibility - take, that we have this in our life.
      3. Repent - and tell God that we are wrong to.
      4. Renounce - it and tell it that we don't want it any more.
      5. Remove - it by commanding it to get out of our life.
      6. Replace - it with forgiveness and love for ourself like God has for us.
      7. Resist - it when it tries to come back.
      8. Rejoice - that it is getting out of our life.
      9. Restore – others like we have been restored

"Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases; He redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion." Psalm 103: 1-3