Garwood Presbyterian Church

Overcoming Our Family Upbringing

Genesis 37:1-4, 23-28, Genesis 45:1-8, Genesis 50:15-21, Ephesians 4:26-27, 30-5:2
# 1 In "We Are Overcomers Through Christ"

Today, there is something that you can do that will change the rest of your life dramatically for the better. It is a lesson we learn from the life of Joseph in the Bible. During Lent we are going to look at the roller coaster life of Joseph, with all of its ups and downs, in order to learn how to become an overcomer in life like he was, and how God wants us to be. Today we are going to see that Joseph overcame the faults of his family upbringing by continuing to trust and love God, and that he overcame the treacherous actions of his brothers by forgiving them.

And you also need to trust and love God in spite of the faults of your family upbringing that you had to live through, and, most importantly, to also forgive any of your family members who need it. If you do this, it will dramatically change your life for the better. So I hope it will happen for you today. And I am here to help you to have it happen.

1. How Joseph Became an Overcomer
   1. He was born into a faulty family.
      1. Like we all are.
      2. In Genesis 37:3 we saw that Joseph's father set him up for failure.
         1. Jacob loved Joseph more than his other sons, instead of loving them all equally.
         2. The richly ornamented robe that Jacob had Joseph wear meant that Joseph did not have to do any common, manual labor, and that he would receive a double portion of his father's inheritance instead of his father's firstborn son receiving it.
      3. Joseph became part of the problem, because he did not wisely take off his robe and join his other brothers in their work, nor did he voluntarily give Reuben the extra portion of his fa-ther's inheritance that belonged to him. Instead, Joseph accepted the special treatment of his father and selfishly lived it out.
   2. In response, Joseph's brothers wrongly wanted to kill him, and then sold him into slavery.
      1. Your family most likely wasn't that bad, but it still had problems that you had to suffer through.
      2. Because of this, Joseph's life took a dramatic turn for the worse.
   3. However, Joseph continued to trust and love God, and to do the right things, and eventually he became second in command to Pharaoh of all of Egypt.
   4. Years later, when Joseph met his brothers again, he at first tricked them (Genesis 42-44), but then he forgave them (Genesis 50:15-21).
      1. At first Joseph tricked his brothers like they had tricked their father. But their father, Jacob, had tricked his own brother Esau twice before. And in turn, their father, Isaac, had been deceptive. And his own father, Abraham, had been the first to deceive other people.
         1. Whatever we do not deal with, will be passed on to our children!
         2. See Exodus 20:4-6, Exodus 34:5-7, Numbers 14:18-19, and Deuteronomy 5:8-10.
         3. So we need to deal with our family upbringing not only for our own benefit, but also for the benefit of our children, our grandchildren, and their children.
      2. Eventually, after working through the pain, Joseph was able to forgive his brothers.
         1. Because he understood God's purpose for the pain that he underwent. See Gen. 45:5-8.
         2. Instead of becoming bitter, Joseph became a better person.
         3. Instead of becoming depressed, Joseph became an overcomer and had victory in his life.
   5. We all can learn these same lessons for our own life from Joseph's life.
2. In spite of Our Family Upbringing, We Need to Continue to Trust and Love God, and to Forgive Our Family Members
   1. None of us received all of the love we needed from our family, and especially from our parents.
      1. We may even have been harmed and received some damage from them.
      2. A woman Pastor Gary knew grew up in a family whose parents were Satanists.
   2. In spite of our family upbringing, we need to continue to love and trust God.
      1. Instead of giving up and being depressed.
      2. Instead of being angry at God because of what He let us go through.
   3. Instead of continuing to be resentful against our family members, we need to forgive them.
      1. See Ephesians 4:26-27, 30-5:2.
3. How to Forgive Your Family Members and Be Free From Resentment and Your Past
   1. Give your pain from your past to God, instead of to your family members.
      1. Your family members deserve it, but you are not going to give them what they deserve, but love them instead. See Ephesians 5:1-2.
      2. We can read in Isaiah 53:4 that Jesus carried our sorrows and pain, so give them to Him.
      3. Also be honest with God and tell Him if you feel that He has let you down and disappointed you. "Forgive" God if necessary.
   2. Receive God's love where you were not loved by your family growing up.
      1. God says in Jeremiah 31:3, "I have loved you with an everlasting love."
      2. Psalm 27:10 says, "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me."
   3. Understand that your pain can be turned into your gain.
      1. God allows us to experience pain to change us for the better. See James 1: 2-4.
      2. So, become better instead of bitter.
      3. Understanding why God allowed you to go through your difficulty can help you to make the specific changes that will make you better. See "Why God Lets Us Suffer."
      4. When our pain is turned into our gain, then it is much easier for us to forgive.
   4. For any damage your upbringing has done to you, turn to the Lord for His help and healing.
      1. He says in Exodus 15:26, "I am the Lord who heals you."
      2. God can also make us into a new creation. See 2 Cor. 5:17.
      3. If the damage has become a part of us, we may need to cooperate with God by repenting of it.
   5. In your ongoing relationships with family members, speak the truth in love to them.
      1. See Ephesians 4:15.
      2. Use "I" messages if necessary. "When you ____________, then I feel ____________."
      3. Especially if they continue to relate to you in an unloving way.

Conclusion: We have seen how Joseph grew up in a dysfunctional family that actually considered killing him, and, yet, how he triumphed in his life by continuing to trust and love God. Then he made the right decision to forgive his brothers, bringing peace into his life and that of his family. For your family upbringing, will you work with God to bring good out of any bad that may have happened to you? And will you forgive your family members for any pain that they caused you? If you do, you will become an overcomer and your life will become dramatically better.

I will allow God to bring good out of my upbringing, and I will forgive my family members. _____ I will remain resentful against God and my family for my upbringing. _____